I Need

#241    Thurs.  Feb. 27/14, 10:15am, St. Theresa’s before the Blessed Sacrament.

My God, My God why have you forsaken Me?

I uttered these Words so you could feel free to utter them too.  You see, they ask the Heavenly Father to His Face what is He doing with my miserable life.

He wants you to ask so He can clarify for you that He has never forsaken you --- though it may look like that, but he wants you to ask the question because it comes from a heart seeking the Truth.

It comes from a heart that wants to know God more and sometimes we have to cry this out from the depth of our darkness.

Let Me tell you this.  I have never forsaken you.  So that is a 100% guarantee from Me to  you.

Now that does not mean that you have not felt abandoned.

So I clarify for you that what is the Truth and what you feel sometimes do not coincide.

Because we have been living in a truth of our own manufacturing.

We have decided who God is, what He should do for me, what He has done for me compared to what I have done for myself.

We have manufactured a God to our own tasting.  We deal with God by our senses – does He make me feel good?  Will He do what I want?  Do I see Him being nice to others and not to me?

We have to jump back and ask ourselves “what kind of God do I want?”  One who will do my will, or one who will do His Will for me because He knows what is eternally best for me.

We desire the God of the Moment – to be used by me when I feel like I need Him.

He does not become the God of All – all time, all places, all spaces, all desires, all direction, all happenings.

We think we know who God is without consulting with Him daily asking Him to reveal Himself more and more in our lives.

We are content to call on Him casually, to pray to Him occasionally, to ask His advice now and then.

He wants to be the God of ALL of me.

But my actions and thoughts indicate that I  want Him to be my occasional God.

I should not feel abandoned if I have put Him in charge of the ALL of me.

So right away our question to Him of feeling abandoned indicates to us that it is us who have abandoned Him.

Jesus expressed this in the fullness of His Humanity to indicate to us that many times, because we are human, we will take our eyes off God and be moved by the influences of the World.

Yet He shows us that there is another choice.  So ask our God the question --- why have you abandoned me and let Him hear your cry.  Is it an eternal cry or one that only wants to serve this moment in time?

Bow your head in prayer.  Ask Me to show you in ALL times that I am with you.  Name the darkest circumstance in your life --- and I was there with you and for you.

Sometimes we believe that if my God is with me why do bad things happen?

That is a legitimate question and very justified.  Until you know it is all taken care of by Me that question is justified.

However, now that you have read about Me and My Presence in ALL parts and pieces of your life, realize that I never abandoned you, but rather held you safe and secure in My Love.

It is a difficult task to jump from feeling abandoned because of all that has happened in your life, and realizing that I was constantly there.  Then you may ask “Why then did you let all of this disgusting stuff happen to me?”

Come aside and let Me show you.  Sit in the stillness of My Heart and let Me express to you My Love that has sustained you through all of the stuff that has happened in your life.

Some may have been due to your choices or totally out of your hands --- the choices of others, yet My Love overthrew them all.

I know this is hard for you to grasp --  those of you who have been abused.

However, I beckon to you now not to let go of this God who is talking with you now.

The past, in most cases, cannot be healed or fixed as you would wish it to be.

Then will this make you feel abandoned again --- if you can’t get retribution or get justice as you see it?

Are you willing to let it all go and give it into My Gentle Hands?  This is a HUGE request and challenge.

This calls for lots of Graces for you to dare to take this step.  My Son knows.  He took the step.  He asked to have the cup (of suffering, shame, humiliation) taken from Him, yet found the Graces I provided to Him to accept and abandon Himself in Me and My Will.

Do you see when such bad things happen to us we feel abandoned and yet the ONLY way we can discard the bad times of our life is to abandon them all to Him?

We can drive ourselves insane if we don’t.

We can walk around mad as old get out, always ready to pounce, always ready not to forgive, always primed to seek revenge.

Tell Me if this leaves you feeling fulfilled.  Now in some cases My People said revenge felt good.  For how long? 

Did it make you a better person? 

Did it give you a better outlook on life?

Did it make you stop looking over your shoulder?

Did it make people trust you?

Come and sit with Me and tell Me how much better off you are having exacted revenge.

Do not shy away from being honest and giving Me your honest answers.

I want you to hear your sincere answer.  Not an answer that you are making up to please Me.

Now sit with Me and hear how I want you to take revenge. 

Oooh this sounds good --- heh, to have God the Almighty,  All Powerful on your side willing to help you take revenge.

But you know it is too good to be true that I will take revenge as you would wish Me to.

I asked you to come aside and listen to how I want you to take revenge.  Hmmm, slightly different phrasing isn’t it.  It is not how you want Me to join you in revenge, but how I want you to join Me in revenge.

Oops.  You knew there was a catch. 

Are you willing to abandon your idea of revenge and put on My Armour of Revenge?

So you are consoling yourself that ‘heh revenge is revenge and that is really what I want, so I will go along with God.’

However, I ask you first to sit with Me and pray with Me for those who harmed you.

This initial coat of armour is not easy to put on.  It bumps against all the hurts that were inflicted on you and does not sit well on you.

So what prayer would you like to say for or about this person?

“Dear God, I can’t stand this person.  They deserve to go to hell.”  Now you see that is your voice alone praying to Me, not with Me.

I will pray with you.  I will start this prayer and you just copy what I say.

“Dear Father in Heaven, I ache, I ache, I ache from all the pains of my past life.”

Do you see how even speaking these few honest words from your heart and Mine already have lightened your burden.

I do not want you to avoid telling Me how you feel in prayer, yet I encourage you to let Me lead you in prayer.

“Where were you Lord God when I needed you?”

“I have suffered so.” 

“Did you not notice or care?”

“What good does it do me now to seek You and the answers I need?”

Oooh, you have just uttered the words “I need.”

Do they not jump off the page for you, to you?

What a simple, beautiful prayer – “I need.”

Does it apply to:

“I need a job.”

“I need answers.”

“I need healing.”

“I need revenge.”

“I need to express my hurt feelings.”

“I need to get my head straight.”

“I  need to get order in my life.”

All of these may be legitimate needs in your life, yet “I need” is only at its fullest when we realize “I need God.”

“Seek first the kingdom of heaven…”

Put down your fighting gloves.  They are not part of God’s Mighty Armour.

God wants you firm in your prayer life.

How do you think Jesus made it to the Cross?  He had to pray and pray to discern and live out God’s Will for Him.

So saying prayers once with Me is a good first step, but I encourage you not to just take this step once, then not continue.

I do not care if you want to do battle with Me.  Come aside and tell Me what you think I should have done for you way back then.  Tell Me you thought I was the God of Love but you sure as heck did not feel loved.

Ask Me to help you put on the armour of redeeming prayer.  Redemption for your dear battered soul and redemption for the souls of others.  You may not want to add the latter part of this prayer.  But just do it because I have asked you to.

It is a HUGE step I know, but would you rather spend the rest of your life recalling the past, or do you feel down deep inside that you have a life worth living, worth living to your fullest potential?

So tell Me you felt abandoned.  Yes I hear this prayer.

Now tell Me “I need you God” and then lets get together and pray very simply.

Even if you have to make a chart on  a page with

I felt abandoned

        I need God

                                             

and list them down the page.

Let us together look at how you felt in the past and what you need now.

And you are making both lists in My Eternal Presence so you are no longer feeling abandoned to try to heal and fix things on your own.

PS  Just remember too that “Vengeance is Mine says the lord” so you don’t have to ever worry about that again.  But don’t tell Me how the revenge should look like or be!